Decode
by Spanish Sunrise
Summary: Robert's sister Josephine hides her true feelings towards Charlie Morse, and sends secret signals with every smile and word. Unfortunatly, he does not get him, and she must tell him that she loves him before it's too late. Request from a friend. One-shot.


**Hey guys! **

**This is a request from one of my fanfiction friends. **

**Charlie X Josephine (Robert's younger sister)**

**The song is 'Decode' by Paramore, also requested.**

**Please review and let me know how you feel about this.**

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It was a still Boston twilight, and the courtyard of the Shaw residence bloomed with buttery yellow tea roses, perfumed island lilacs, and massive, snowy magnolias. The garden was seduced by the warm, calm spring evening, post a glowing, crimson sunset that promised an exciting, starry night. Animated laughter of playful children echoed up and down Beacon street, and the raging blood-shed seemed like a distant rumor rather than cold reality, blotted out by the care-free existence of the Boston world.

Life could not have been anymore perfect for Josephine, on the outside, she was everything a well-brought up girl should be, but on the inside...she was crumbling to pieces, screaming for help behind a mask of plastic, rosy smiles. Writing the truth with her eyes hoping that someone would notice-that he would notice. Encrypted passages of love with every word to her best friend, declarations of fidelity with every tight-lipped smile.

Someday, when this cruel war is over.

_How can I decide what's right?_

_When you're clouding up my mind_

_Can't win your loosing fight_

_All the time_

Charlie was unaware that he was her everything, that his bright, hazel blue eyes with compelling childlike innocence and youthful liveliness could make her heart stop with every glance he so graciously bestowed on her, which she goaded with a secret charm in his lack od knowledge to her sudden blushes and fainting spells.

She strolled through the gardens with him, her arm wound through the crook of his elbow, laughing at the right moments and joking with him but still remaining a fragile piece of propriety. He always came to visit her brother Robert, but Josephine liked to believe that he came because of her. It was such a pleasant thought, both relaxing and invigorating that made her heart rush when the Shaw butler announced his presence.

"I'm going to miss all of this." Charlie murmured suddenly, pausing his stride to look nostalgically up at the dimming lavender sky.

Naturally, his tone was cause enough for her to scrunch her forehead with worry, and she anxiously tore at the rose petals of the flower Charlie had picked for her. "Char, what are you talking about?" She murmured, fearing his answer.

_How did we get here?_

_When I used to know you so well_

_How did we get here?_

_Well I think I know_

Charlie turned slowly to face her, giving her a sad, yet proud smile that did not touch her eyes. What was going on? Why could she not read his expression and see his problem? "Charlie?"

"I'm following Robert to the fifty-fourth." He told her proudly, a charming grin breaking across his face like the rising sun over the ocean.

Josephine frowned, taken aback by his ridiculous words, she refused to believe that he was leaving her. "Charles." She pouted, using his full name only when he was being disagreeable. "Don't be silly, I'm in no mood for your unreasonable jests."

She grinned up at his face, expecting him to grace her with that smile she adored.

But his face was emotionless, a marble

carving of Greek Narcissus. She grew serious dramatically, swiftly dropping her smile. "Charlie, is this true?" She asked, silently pleading that it was not.

_The truth is hiding in your eyes_

_and it's hanging on your tongue_

_Just boiling in my blood_

_But you think I can't see_

_But it was true._

Three short weeks later, the time had come for the blasted war to steal her secretly beloved away from her heart. Her brother, his friend Forbes, and her sweet Charlie stood in a neat row, all looking dashing in their blue uniforms with their shiny brass buttons and striped cuffs. But it was Charlie who radiated the most light, and no matter how hard she tried, she found it impossible to look away, and stop shedding tears of distress.

Robert must have assumed that she was weeping for his case, for no one knew of his sister's attraction to his friend. He was bemused, but awkwardly patted her on the back nevertheless. Her younger sister, Susannah, was clinging onto Forbes's muttering something about being careful and staying out of the cold. Josephine would have liked to behave the same way around Charlie, but they were only friends. Suppose if she spilled her heart and soul to him, and his response was that he wasn't interested. That he never saw her as anything but a friend, or worse, only as Robert's little sister.

She approached him nevertheless. "Charles?" She called, acting formal in a way that made him quirk up an eyebrow. "B-be c-careful."

With those two words she spilled her entire heart out to him, but he would not know how to decode her encrypted message.

He have her a smile that was meant for a child. "I will." She wondered if he even realized that she was a woman now, and not his childhood playmate.

_What kind of man that you are_

_If you are a man at all_

_Well I'll figure this one out_

_On my own_

_On my own_

Then they left, it was a simple process, nothinh to extravagant about. But they left all the same. Charlie left Josephine. It was as simple as that. Though she looked no different, her chin high, shoulders squared, a completely nonchalant appearance, inside she felt like her tower of strength was crumbling to dust. She relished in the petty fact that she was in a better emotional state than her weeping sister-in-law, Annie.

There were so many things that she wanted to tell Charlie, so many things she wanted him to know. There were also thousands of questions that she wanted him to answer, racing through her mind and bouncing in her head in discombobulated bundles that made it hard for her to keep track of them. How could he just leave? She thought that she made her feelings obvious for him, but apparently she was wrong.

All Josephine could do was watch and suffer in silence, her proud-but-heartbroken sister-in-law leaning stiffly against her shoulder, and Susannah on the other side of her supporting their sick mother. Josephine craned her neck and scrunched the corners of her eyes in a scrutinizing squint, staring at the horizon until the dust trail left by the horse of her beloved, watching it evanesce from view.

Though surrounded by family, she had never felt so alone.

_I'm screaming, "I love you so..."_

_But my thoughts you can't decode._

She was in love with Charlie, if only he could see that. She was so sure that it would have been perfectly obvious without saying so. With ever word and with every smile held encrypted meanings and secret messages but Charlie never got the signal. He was polite and respectful to her, and he always treated her both like a dear friend and a queen.

Not the way you would treat a lover.

If Charlie could not figure it out himself. She would tell him straight out how she felt. But unfortunately, every time that he came to visit, along with Robert and Forbes, Josephine would turn yellow, and fear would capture her words of love in an icy grip and she would swallow them down, hiding her true emotions, and receiving him with a mask of forced smiles.

She would resign herself to silence, and pretend that her sadness was due to the fact that her brother was not staying long and going back to war again. She would give Robert a stiff hug and an emotionless kiss upon his cheek. He would smile at her and reassure her about his safety, before eagerly moving on to Annie, who dissolved in his arms. Josephine neither liked nor disliked her sister-in-law, and though she'd die before admitting it, she thought that Robert could do better.

_How did we get here?_

_When I used to know you so well?_

_How did we get here?_

_Well, I think I know_

It was several months later when Josephine realized that she had better tell him, and tell him soon. It was a crisp, Boston morning in the lively month of May, and it seemed like the entire world lined up along Beacon Street to catch a glimpse of the proud, new, Fifty Fourth Massachusetts Infantry. Josephine could not help but admire how proud the number and title sounded, and she leaned far over the railing to catch a glimpse of a familiar face.

A large band of adolescent boys sounded a powerful marching tune, loud and clear, ringing in both her ears and her heart. Thousands of red, white, and blue banners hung from balconies and waved in the hands of young ladies and small children. White circles of confetti flirted through the warm air like snowflakes in a blizzard, settling in her hair and on her gown, landing and claiming territory on the blue clad shoulders of the fifty-fourth men. Her eyes scanned the soldiers for the one that mattered most.

Irritating gasps of joy sounded from the lips of Annie and Susannah as they're eyes found their men, Robert and Forbes. Josephine searched more fervently, not wavering from the task at hand until her goal was reached. Back and forth her eyes swept the marching rows, before she had the sense to look on the outskirts, which, to her relief, proved to be the most rewarding.

Charlie sat on the back of his proud, chestnut-brown mare, his spine erect and his powerful body clad in a deep-sea blue. His green eyes flamed with life as they too scanned the crowd, his reddish-brown bangs occasionally fell into his eyes until he tuck his copper hair underneath the shiny black bill of his kepi. His cheek muscles flexed with the movement of his strong, angular jaw as he shouted orders to his company.

Suddenly, he dropped the eye-hold of his troops, and Josephine's heart pounded in her ears as his gaze floated to the top of the Shaw balcony. In the next moment when his eyes met hers, the world ceased to spin and Josephine lost most of her senses. The sound of the marching band was muted, and only her heart beat could be heard. She could neither smell the caramel floss of the lip-smacking children nor taste her own mouth; neither could she feel how tightly she was gripping the railings of iron-wrought balcony. Her vision tunneled into a spotlight of him, only him, all for him.

His expression was serious at first as he gazed upon her, and Josephine's pulse quickened with hope as adrenaline raced through her veins. Suddenly his expression changed into a bright smile, and her heart sank. For it was not the smile you would bestow upon the love of one's life, but the grin one might give to a younger sibling. It was despair she felt that he did not understand, as she watched him ride off with her gallant brother.

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We're going to make such fools of ourselves._

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We're going to make such fools of ourselves._

Josephine could not sleep, her body and mind were dead with exhaust but she still could not sleep. His face was haunting her dreams and her heart, and he was all she could think about, as she stared unblinkingly at the only light in her otherwise dark room. The candle burned an exotic, Egyptian gold, the white bee wax melting and dropping into the small candle holder. She missed her Charlie so much it hurt.

Josephine did not know what to do. She needed help, she needed a sign. There was a feeling of desperation, and try as she may, she could not shake it. It was a feeling of urgency, and she knew it had to do with Charlie, and it scared her. The candle light flickered and shed some light onto the matter-literally. The light fell on a plume resting in it's tiny ink barrel, a stack of coffee-colored paper resting beneath it.

That was her sign. That was what she was looking for. The paper and quill pen were silently screaming at her to tell him, to pick up a sheet, dip the tip of the feather in the black depths of the ink well, and let everything inside of her run down on the paper. From her heart, to her mind, to her fingertips, to the paper, will her words of love flow. She picked up the utensils with a sigh, silently debating how to start it.

_How did we get here?_

_When I used to know you so well_

_How did we get here?_

_Well, I think I know_

Dear Charlie,

I'm still debating on how to write this down, I'm not sure what I'm required to say to let you know what's in my heart, but I will try my best. Let me first remind you that we are friends, and we have been so for a very long time. Charlie, you are one of the best and closest friends that I have, and I wanted you to know that. For the past two years, I began to see you in a different light. Remember, Char, this is not easy to say, especially for a lady, but I'm sure you'll understand. As I said earlier, for the past two years I began to see you differently, I began to feel differently towards you. I began to try to impress you, I even tried to flirt with you, but you did not notice. It breaks me to think that you might only see me merely as your friend's kid sister. If that indeed is true, then I ask you to destroy this letter and not remind me of it when you come back from war, that is if you still choose to be my friend. My simple message to you is that I love you; and I've been in love with you for a long time. I pray with a small glimmer of hope that you just might feel the same, if only a little. No matter what you decide, whether you want to speak with me anymore or not, I will understand, and I will still be your friend, and I will still love you. Godspeed.

With love,

Your friend,

Josephine 'Effie' Shaw

Her fingers were shaking as she wrote the letter, and blank ink splattered after every period that she put down with her quivering hand, bleeding right through the delicate paper. She blew on it to speed up the process of making it dry, for she knew that if she did not place it in an envelope soon, she would lose heart and courage and not send it at all.

She managed to do just so, finding a stray envelope stowed away in one of her desk drawers, and after folding the letter three times, slid it inside the crisp, toffee-colored envelope. She searched for red wax and was glad to find a small piece in the library, along with a wax stamp that held the Shaw Family insignia on it. Melting it over the candle, she let it dribble on the opening tooth of the envelope, and when it was halfway dry, stamped it with the insignia.

She would have to wait until tomorrow to send it, for she must ask Annie for the address where Robert's camp was currently stationed at in South Carolina. She knew that the letter would soon be in the capable hands of her love-struck sister-in-law, transferred to the mail carrier, and delivered into Robert's capable hands. She was assured that Robert would immediately give the letter to Charlie Morse. Beautiful, sweet, green-eyed Charlie Morse.

The thought excited her and she could barely sleep that night.

_I think I know_

_I think I know_

_There is something I see in you_

_It might kill me I want it to be true_

Two weeks later in the month of early August, poor Josephine received her reply. The mail carrier came, and the Shaw family received several letters of evil tidings. There was such a cry on Beacon Street that was never heard before and never will be heard again. Annie read her letter and fainted, Susannah read hers and screamed, her mother collapsed in tears, and her father turned ashen.

Josephine trembled with fear as she held a dirty, dried from Southern dust, envelope. She bit her lip to steady herself, and with courage she did not feel, dared to tear the fragile envelope open. Her soft finger tips traced the insides of the paper letter, and with sudden roughness, drew it out. She gasped, for it was her own letter that she read, unopened. She should have told him that she loved him earlier, should have said it sooner. She was so stupid, and her heart broke into tiny pieces and her soul sank as tears poured down her cheeks. He had never got the letter.

He never knew that she loved him.

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**Thank you for reading. Please review; and if you have any Glory requests feel free to PM me. :) I find it's more entertaining when somebody _gives_ you the idea… **


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